Whispering Owl is Born....

Not much has happened since I last updated, or there probably would have been an update. So, I bought the new blog name from my friend we have a photography company and that was our name. I am going to use Whispering Owl as my merchandise name when I start selling on Etsy.

Working on my crocheting, and spending time with Dan and Nate. Working at finding a job. That's about all. When there is more I might update. I will definitely update with photos whenever I buckle down and finish projects instead of start projects.

New Blog Name

I am playing with ideas in my head for a new blog name...I need to change it because Lacie-Licious sounds... well not very good anymore. I guess maybe it's because I'm not partying all the time. Ha! So if you have any suggestions just comment me!

Evil Dead and Hello Kitty.....?

Watching The Evil Dead and crocheting a Hello Kitty purse for my sister....somehow I feel like this is full of win! I had to blog about it. So, the purse I am making for my sister is based off of this scarf pattern. I hope to become skilled enough to make these Hellborus fingerless gloves. They are beautiful!

I am trying to make a bunch of things for people so that I have like photo evidence of my skill so that I can sell stuff. I am eventually going to actually post something on my Etsy so that I can make money. The only problem is that I need a bank account to update my Paypal.

I have fallen out of touch with a lot of people lately, and I don't mean to. It is just that lately I have been busy, and ignoring my phone. I may also be losing touch with the real world because I want to spend as much time with my son as I can before I get another job. I just... don't want to talk to anyone. I am sure this is another stage of grief that I need to overcome, but I don't want to. I feel like maybe if I let go of the grief of my father that I somehow tarnish his memory. I know that isn't true at all, but I just want to be sad for a while. I miss him like crazy! I think about him all the time. Like seriously...all the time.

I am in serious need of a nap, so I think I am going to pause my movie, and my project to go take one.

Countdowns

So I know this is lame, but I am counting down because I have such little time to make all the presents I need to make. Though, I know I can do it. I am always the one who never gives presents. Yeah, I'm that person. Though this year I totally am giving everyone something. Also, we're having Thanksgiving here this year. It's pretty cool. I'm excited. Devon has offered up the turkey, stuffing is easy, and mashed potatoes are easy as well. That's all I am going to make, well I'm making some delicious brown gravy. If anyone wants anything else, they can make it and bring it...or bring it and make it.

Nate is excited about his pirate costume, and as soon as I dig out the sink I will be able to dye his pants. We're all going as pirates. Wooohoo!

Crochet

Amanda did it again, teaching me how to be a nerd right. She showed me to Questionable Content where I immediately started reading from the beginning. I remember Bridger showing me comics in 2003 that were like this one.

I also decided that I need to like use code names for people incase anyone I know reads my blog.

So I have been really really into crocheting in the past two days. I made a purse and am working on a blanket for Nate. I am very excited and I hope to finish it before it gets really cold.

Anyhow, we are having a Munchkin night. I am all sorts of popular recently or something.

Return to Wonderland...

So Amanda showed me these a bit ago. I decided to check them out, anyhow I recommend. Highly recommend. She also made me watch Dr. Who tonight. I had never seen it really before, it was awesome. I think she teaches me how to be a better nerd.

I had a good time, we had planned on going for an adventure, some sort of river trail walk. Though we ended up on my couch after baking a cake. Funny how these things turn out.

I think I am going to go to bed. I will more than likely update tomorrow.

Bored.....

I have had this awful cold since Tuesday morning. I am finally getting better, but it is Dan's work week... meaning I have to find things to do by myself or with people. Anyhow, Nate is at my mom's on a trial run of his behavior changes, and I am here in front of the computer hoping that Amanda sees the facebook message I left her.

So, right now it sucks because Dan wasn't accepted to move in here and we have to find a place together. That means I need to get a job. Which isn't that bad, but I would rather not work and be able to spend the next year and a half with Nate before he has to go to school. Sigh, anyway.

I don't have much to say, I failed out of school. I wonder if I get my grant money because FAFSA approved me, the school however did not. Academic politics are weird. The thing that gets me is that the assignments are so strange for online school. I was supposed to write a 1050 word paper on how to manage my relationship and how it developed. WTF? Why should I write to some strange the intimate interworkings of my personal relationship? The week prior to there was an assignment where we were supposed to give these survey things to our "peers" and the surveys had a negative and a positive. The person had to answer which one sounded like me and give a reason. It was terrible. Did they want me to get into fights with people? The only person I could convince to do it was Devon, and a few of her answers hurt my feelings. Though they are her opinions and I respect that. It made me ask her questions and explain why she felt that way, which was awful. I mean, I don't want to be that person.

Date Night...Bad Nate...Job Hunting

(Written on Monday night)

Date night was wonderful. Today was wonderful. Nate was moderatly okay, I cried myself to sleep in my nap, but for some reason I still think it was a good day. We went to the bowling alley drank some beer and decided to go to Denny's. Took a detour at the house to get some more money, then got distracted by the computer.

(Back to present)

So we went to Denny's. Bridger and Dan were so drunk! It was agravating at times but funny at others. They saw a car outside with hazards on and ran out across Brooks to help push it and got $5 each. Which was helpful because it paid for $10 of the dinner.

Tuesday Nate was so bad we had to take all his toys away, and he ended up behaving. So now he has to earn his television time, and his toys back. Speaking of, I am sorting through all his toys and selling or donating the others.

So we have been moving furniture in the bedroom and trying to make it more comfortable for Dan to get away from Nate and I in there when he needs alone time. Though, now I am faced with a conflict where I need to get a job so that we can find a place together.

I need to stop writing because I want to watch Grey's Anatomy.

Blog Makeover Time?

I think it may be time for a blog makeover. I just can't decide which color scheme I am going to go with. With the upcoming holiday I may go with a Sam-hain type theme. Though, I have to think of it.

My sister has a glutten allergy and I ate dinner at her house tonight. I never realized how good of a cook her boyfriend is! They make a wonderful pair. Whatever doubts I had about them as a united couple in the beginning have since been washed out. In fact I feel a little ridiculous about doubting it.

Trying to find an income without actually getting a job is difficult. For now I am trying to work up my stock of handmade jewelry so that I can have a table downtown, and then next year at the people's market. I just am unsure how much I could sell my products for. I might start on Etsy and see. I do have a storefront there, however I have never posted anything.

Lately I have been feeling like everything has its place and I need to get it all there to obtain complete happiness. Right now though, I am really happy. There are minor things that get in the way, but despite the deepest sorrow caused by my father's death, I am happy. I will always be sad about that, and it will always cause great distress when I think to hard about it. Though, I am as happy as I can be given the circumstances.

I have always wanted for someone to love me, and now there is someone who loves me. It is nice to know that I am accepted and cherished. He spends almost all of his energy to make me happy and for that I am extremely pleased. I try to make him happy, though I sometimes feel that I don't do enough. I know that is silly, but it is like there is this desire in me to please him beyond what he shows. I guess that is love right?

I am going to work on merging my stories into a few so that I am not working on several at a time. It is difficult to keep up. Though I haven't worked on them in a long time. I just feel like if I just merged all the ideas into like three stories, I could make a series or something. Three main stories and characters makes for a lot more room for each of them to grow and for me to improve my writing. It might also motivate me to work on it. Since I don't have a job and I am facing all this freetime, it might be a good idea.

Tonight I watched the Labrynth. In fact I am still watching it. When I was a kid I loved this movie so much. It could probably be related to the fact that all three of my mother's children inherited her deep love of David Bowie. Ha!

Anyways, I need to get back to making dinner for Dan. I may write later.

Great Purge

Cleaning my closet tonight made me excited for Christmas. Yes I am Pagan, but there is something about Christmas that is magical. I celebrate Yule and Christmas. I love the decorating and the lights. I love the hot chocolate and the sitting on the couch watching the snow fall. Nothing about Christmas makes me sad...well this year it does. That was the one day I was guarenteed to see my dad. I guess not anymore.

I am having a "Great Purge" of my house. Cleaning out everything, opening every box and throwing it all away. I have to admit I am a little afraid. Though I am thinking, I might be able to find some old electronics and sell them at a pawn shop. Or donat some things to a second hand store. Something like that.

Okay now I need to get back to cleaning. I don't know why I bothered to write this.

Playlist

I don't know what is wrong with me today, but I am so full of rage. I am feeling so much. I just snapped at my kid for climbing on me. I don't do that often. When it's just us. I miss my dad, and I am angry with my mom.

At least I have an amazing playlist for Nate and I to dance to! We've eaten a lot of popcorn today! Popcorn and coffee. Empty calories...I think I can get away with it. I really wish I had a cigarette... why is it so hard? Well I know why, because I didn't want to quit. I quit because I didn't have any money, or a job.

Today I just can't seem to do anything. I laid down to take a nap and had to wake up to take Dan to work. Nate was sound asleep, and well we had to wake him up. That was terrible because we've been back for an hour and a half and he isn't going to take a nap now. I can't be mad or anything, but damnit! I am tired. This rain, as much as I love it, I do have to admit it makes me tired.

I am sure I will update again today...with the way I feel more than likely.

Playlist played on shuffle...

1. Heat of the Moment, Asia

2 Hold On Loosely, 38 Special

3. Eye of the Tiger, Survivor

4. Ellie Goulding- Lights (Bassnectar Remix)

5. Error 404, Skold vs. KMFDM

6. Bennie and the Jets, Elton John

7. Don't Go Breaking My Heart, Elton John

8. Crocodile Rock, Elton John

9. Rocket Man, Elton John

10. Your Song, Elton John

11. Young American (1990 Digital Remaster), David Bowie

12. Bad Reputation, Joan Jett

13. John, I'm Only Dancing (1990 Digital Remaster), David Bowie

14. The Look, Roxette

15. Come On Eileen, Dexys Midnight Runners

16. Wagon Wheel, Old Crow Medicine Show

17. Highway to Hell, ACDC

18. Tiny Dancer, Elton John

19. Dancing in the Moonlight, King Harvest

20. Fer Sure, The Medic Droid

21. Eet (Album Version), Regina Spektor

22. Keep Sake, State Radio

23. Cotton, The Mountain Goats

24. Shy, Sonata Arctica

25. Dance Music, The Mountain Goats

Coffee without cigarettes....

Coffee with out cigarettes...what's the point? I drink caffeine more to try to stave off the niccotine cravings, though it just makes me want them more. All in all it is still much better than eating to fight the cravings. I really don't know why I am so drawn to the act of smoking. I always dated smokers, I love cigarette kisses. They are my favorite. I feel not like myself since I quit. We quit drinking soda also, and that is difficult. Though yesterday was the first day we went without it. I had the worst head ache ever.

Dan just made a bunch of Grits. Before I had met him, I had never heard of such things. I didn't really enjoy the texture, though I will definitely try them on a day when I am in the mood for them, and not trying to eat waffles also. So we had waffles, cheesy eggs, and they had grits for breakfast. It's times like these when I feel like an actual family. I love it.

I posted that photo of my father's ashes on my facebook and my brother and uncle started a long conversation on it. Then my older sister commented. I am feeling very sad today. I miss my dad a lot. I can't ever remember feeling this bad so it must be a first.

Last night with Dan was perfect. We sat down and talked. We had such good conversation, then we went to bed for two hours and it was perfect. Everything was perfect last night. I didn't feel any sort of insecurity or pressure to act a certain way. We fell asleep at four and thankfully for me Nate was up late so he slept in!

Some Photos

The first photo is of my father's ashes in the glass jar that we put them in. The second is from my birthday we went to the Missoula Maze and Nate was being really defiant that day. Though it made for a cute photo! The third photo is a bracelet I made for him.

The fourth photo... sigh. The other day while we were supposed to be taking a nap, Nate decided to apply makeup. He proceeded to DESTROY $300 worth of my makeup and accessories. He covered the toilet, bathtub, ottoman, and carpet. Yes, well I took a photo, and he had to smile.

Now I am getting off the computer for real.

Cravings and Stumbling

I haven't written in a long while. I failed out of school. I guess I am just not ready for it. This means I need to get a part time job to help support the household. Whenever Nate goes to school I can modify my work schedule accordingly. I just need to make enough money to slowly work at getting out of debt and buying things for Nate.

I have been using StumbleUpon lately. I started using it yesterday and it has given me so many ideas for DIY things and just generally advice on life. I had holed myself up again. I need to get out and have fun. I am starting to feel like I do when I'm starting to spiral into myself. I have decided that I am going to make changes now before I fall into it.

My brother, sister-in-law, and I have started playing LOTRO, and we're all in a kinship together. So I have been spending more time with them. My sister is going on a trip to California for two weeks on Monday. I miss her again, she's been busy. I forgot what it was life before I spent every other day with my family.

Dan bought us a couch for my birthday from his roommate. So we are waiting for this rain to stop so we can move my old couch. It's sad because I never want the rain to stop, but if it could stop for just a day so we could move the couch out, it would be pefect.

Being twenty-three just doesn't feel that young. Perhaps it is because I have a small child and all that responsibility, but I feel old. I need to liven my life up again, and spend some time working on me. Lately finding alone time has been so hard! Though, I decided that I need to make time for me. I need to make time to do things by myself and not get frustrated and go crazy.

I quit buying cigarettes a month ago. It's difficult, I crave them all the time. The problem is, I quit for an economic reason, not for a health reason. When I get a job again I am almost certain that I will start smoking again. I don't really know, but I have the feeling. Though we quit smoking in the apartment, and it is nice. I like not smoking in here. I have had fewer sinus infections, and I feel better. I just want a cigarette.

Well, I need to get back to sorting through my junk! I hope everyone who reads this has a wonderful time until I update again!