Not Okay

So I haven't updated in a while. I am going through an emotional tidal wave lately. I miss my dad and I don't know how to deal with this.

The other day I couldn't stop crying, I don't know why I was crying, but I couldn't stop and Nate kept saying, "What happened mom? What happened?" Then he would say, "Why are you crying? You miss your daddy?" Then he would hug me and I would start sobbing. I don't usually show my negative emotions that bad in front of him. I'm the mommy, but he made me feel so good that day just cuddling me on the couch.

I have been crocheting a lot, as you all know. Though I am starting to try to sell the things that I have been making. I am going to sell hair bows, and headbands with flowers and bows on them. I just need to get the plastic head bands and the metal barrettes.

I made Nate a dollhouse out of cardboard. I need to reinforce it, and buy more hot glue. Though after these boys go home I need to go to the store and buy some more yarn.

I picked up another babysitting job, maybe I can just do that for a while. Also, I found out my rent is paid until March. That was like a surprise blessing. I am very happy about that. Another friend is trying to get a babysitting job that pays $1400 a month and I want to get one like that! I want to move into a different place though.

I am going crazy lately. The house is a mess and just keeps getting worse. It's like everytime I clean within an hour it is back where it was before if not worse. It's hard to keep up.

This is turning into too much complaining. SO I am going to go back to what I was doing before.