Feelings...

I love April, September, October. I love sunshine, but I love rain more. I love the way thunder rumbles and you feel it deep in yourself. I love the way life never gets any easier and you either learn from what you were given, or you don't...I choose to learn. I love music, dancing, and having a good time. I miss the friends I used to have, though I love the new ones I've made since then. I love the time I spend talking with them about things that are imortant to me, knowing they are actually intersted. I love listening to them talk about the things that are important to them, because it's a part of them and I love them for who they are. I miss all the ones I have loved that have died. I love the lessons I have learned in my short time on this earth, and look forward to the ones I am to learn. I love a new pack of cigarettes. No matter what anyone says, nothing beats a nice cold Jack and Coke. I love a warm cup of hot chocolate at Yuletide, when it's cold and the world is covered in a beautiful blanket of snow. I love that some days I am perfectly happy to lay in bed and play the monster game with my little boy. I love the way the sunrise is so angry, and the sunset is so peaceful and calm. The way the rain sounds on the tin roof of a trailer. I ache for not knowing my grandfather whenever I smell cigarettes mixed with house paint. I ache for all the hungry children in the world, all the children with unfit parents...all the abused people in the world. I smile everytime I see a rainbow, always wanting to chase after the pot of gold. The sound of bagpipes resonate through my heart and always stop me in my tracks. I love how when I wake up five minutes before my alarm, although it's hopeless, I always try to fall back asleep. I love the sound of my son's laughter, the sound of his misformed words. I love his hugs, and his kisses. Most of all I love being a mommy. I love my life, and it's not an easy one, but it's good. I am truely blessed by my goddess and couldn't think of life being any other way for me.